Thursday, May 30, 2013

Know Your Doughnut

I really cannot think of a normal way to start this so I will just dive on in - in August of 2005, my father passed away suddenly from a heart attack.  It was surreal and unexpected and it changed my life, but not necessarily in all the ways you would imagine.

Some background - I am the youngest of three.  My family was pretty "normal" growing up, with ballet recitals and hockey games and road trips.

MOH/Sister NYC, Our Dad, Sleepy Miss Bicycle / Personal Photo
As "normal" as we were, I never remember my parents being happy.  We are a family full of strong personalities and opinions and we only worked as a fivesome for so long.  My parents separated when I was in third grade and the divorce was final when I was in eighth.  On Halloween.  Yep, go ahead and process all of that.  It was both of their faults - no one walked away clean.  But it was what it was and eventually we all settled into our new routine of a "broken" family.

MOH/Sister NYC, Our Dad, Brother Marine being a devil / Personal Photo

For reasons I will not go into here, eventually I moved in with my dad permanently my senior year of high school.  My parents lived about twenty minutes apart and I went to high school in the town where my mother lived but I did not see her as often as I now realize I should.  My dad had a new partner and my mom did not react very well to this.  I guess I took sides without even realizing it and I don't think things have ever been the same between my mom and me.

I went away to college and eventually my dad moved to Key Biscayne, Florida (near Miami).  I would go visit him on breaks instead of going to Connecticut.  I would spend the summer there.  Every now and then I would visit my sister in NYC and that would be the only time I would see my mom since she doesn't fly and New Orleans is a long drive from Connecticut.  I don't think it was a conscious thing I was doing - I think I just gravitated toward the person I related to.

You see, my dad was a Marine.  Any daughter of a Marine knows what this means - he was always early (5 minutes early is late), he always had a plan, he never panicked or freaked out.  He passed these traits (and his blue eyes) along to me and these are things that still define me (well, every now and then a bride has to freak out).

NYC, Marine, Bicycle "Cramming for our Literature of Sesame Street exam," according to NYC / Personal Photo
One Sunday evening in August my brother called and asked when the last time I spoke with our dad was.  It had been a few days, which was rare since we usually called each other at least once a day.  We kind of started to panic.  My brother called the local fire department and I gave him clear instructions on where the extra key was so they wouldn't break a window or door (spoiler alert: they did).  They found my father on the couch, unable to revive him. 

First thing the next morning, I flew to from New Orleans to NYC to be with my mom and sister.  We drove down to Florida in the days that followed and had a beautiful Marine Corps ceremony for my father.  I was the only one left in college and I only had three classes left.  I knew I needed to be the one to move/sell/whatever all of his belongings so I decided to take the semester off to deal with all of that.  I drove back to New Orleans on a Friday and planned to return to Florida the following week.

That Friday was Friday, August 26, 2005.  I got back into town pretty late that night - as everyone I knew was preparing to evacuate.  Katrina was on its way.  I had no intention of leaving that weekend.  I needed to get my apartment packed and stop by Tulane and tell them I was taking the semester that started the next week off.  Some of my friends were going to Texas but I knew I couldn't do that.  My grandmother lives in Cocoa Beach, Florida (east of Orlando) and she convinced me to go to her house.  I spent Saturday packing up and got on the road Sunday morning for a drive that normally takes 11 hours.  It took 19.  In addition to the normal evacuation traffic I got two flat tires in the middle of Nowheresville, Alabama.  AAA told me they had already evacuated Nowheresville but that they would try to send help.

I kid you not - this was my father at work.  He needed to test me - to make sure I was really the independent woman he raised me to be.  I couldn't call him for advice, even though I kept trying.  I needed to figure this out on my own.  And I did.  Nowheresville had a used tire place and I got two mismatched tires and continued my journey, arriving at my grandmother's in the middle of the night.  I slept a few hours and then made the four hour drive to Key Biscayne to pack my dad's house. 

I spent the next week packing, selling, organizing, and watching my city flood.  I knew I was bringing my dad's furniture to my brother in North Carolina, but after that?  Tulane was closed.  New Orleans was closed.  I needed to be out of my dad's by the end of the month.  My grandmother in Cocoa Beach - my dad's mother - welcomed me with open arms.
2 yr old Miss Bicycle with Gram Cracker / Personal Photo
I spent most of the next year living with her.  We were leaning on each other and getting each other through it without even acknowledging what we were doing.  It became quite evident that everything I loved and inherited from my father - his punctuality, his routine, his blue eyes - he got from his mother. 

I think I needed that "perfect storm" to prove I could do it - to prove it worked.  He turned me into everything I am proud I am.  Bringing it back to wedding land, this proved to be a problem for a lot of my suitors because when you have an "I don't need a man and I don't need help from anyone" attitude, that isn't exactly a friendly invitation.  I don't know how or why I let my guard down for Mr. B but I am so grateful I did.  I just wish he could have met the reason I am who I am, although he has met my grandmother so I suppose he really has. 

And in case you're wondering what "Know Your Doughnut" means: You always needed a plan with my father, which meant he once came in to our room after bedtime and told us to know what doughnut we wanted the next morning on our way to Disney.  



Thursday, May 23, 2013

Shoe Woes

No one will see my wedding shoes unless they happen to be looking in the corner of the reception as I break it down on the dance floor, barefoot.  Right?  Wrong.  Wedding shoes have become such a "thing" and even though I never intended to let it become anything I waste effort on, it certainly has.  And I probably have my sister to blame (sorry!).

My sister/MOH NYC has a good friend who works in the shoe department at Bergdorf Goodman.  She made a big deal about how he wanted to help me pick out shoes and that he could get me a good deal, yada, yada, yada.  I went in with a pretty open mind and only a few requirements:  navy or gold (or neutral) and not too expensive.  Have you guys ever looked at the Bergdorf shoe section?  Their shoes are certainly not within my regular shoe budget and I was pretty confident they wouldn't be within my wedding shoe budget, either.  My sister told me just to send her friend some ideas and we would go from there.  OK, I can do that!  I scoured their site and stumbled upon the shoe of my dreams, the Valentino Jewelry-Bow Couture d'Orsay:
Image via Bergdorf Goodman
You. Guys.  Seriously.  How gorgeous is that shoe?  Well, it is approximately $1095 worth of gorgeous.  Yeah, no.  Not happening.  I sent him that shoe with the request to find something like that but for cheaper.  I wish I was here to tell you that you can get a stunning Valentino gold bow situation for - like - $200.  But you can't.  According to my sister's friend, you can't really get anything good for "under $1000."  HAH!  Then I guess I will go barefoot?

Back to the drawing board I went.  My Gchats were filled with shoe suggestions to and from NYC and Bridesmaid BOC.

Kate Spade New York Glam / Image via Zappos

Kate Spade New York Latrice / Image via Bergdorf Goodman
Badgley Mischka Regine / Image via Badgley Mischka

I liked all of these but none of them felt like "it" and none of them were (at that time) a great bargain.  And then it happened - BOC sent me the Kate Spade Charm.

Kate Spade Charm / Image via Footnotes Online
It was love at first sight.  I really adore this shoe and I think it would work so well with my dress and my colors.  The problem?  It is $325 - definitely more than I want to spend.  Also, originally Sister NYC wasn't too excited about the glitter, which put doubts in my own mind.  She has since changed her mind and I think she now loves them, but what if the glitter really is too much?

I have done my research and I know there are knockoffs of this beauty out there but I don't want a knockoff -  I want a really good sale.  Is that too much to ask?  I am hoping to get as lucky as Mrs. Wallaby and find them on eBay or another site like that.  I do want to try them on first but I don't know if that is an option for me. I still have a few months before I start dress fittings so I can afford to take some more time looking for a deal.

Does anyone have suggestions for a different shoe or a different way of finding these?  Anyone buy their wedding shoes without trying them on?  And yes, this is the definition of #firstworldproblems.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

A Hairy Situation

In case you missed my first (and I thought only!) entry in the hair drama journal, click here for some background.  Long story short: Mr. B made it clear to me that he does not want my hair fully up, even though I love having an up-do.  I then bought a dress that led me to believe my hair needs to be up.  I thought I could get away with it.

Flash forward to a few days ago: I was messing around with my hair, putting it up in crazy styles and asking Mr. B what he would do if I walked down the aisle like that.  At one point he very seriously said he knew I would not "do that to him" and that he knew I would have my hair "showing in some way."  Cue panic.  What?!  Why did I think he would be OK with my hair being up?! 

Well, now I am back to the drawing board and I need some help.  My original compromise style inspiration was this:

Image via Style Me Pretty / Photography by Chris Bailey Photography / Event design by Keely Thorne Events
I do not plan on showing my dress but I will tell you this - it has a very pretty keyhole back, similar to this:
Image via Fox Gown
I cannot have my hair covering that beautiful back, can I?  But apparently I cannot wear it up.  So what am I supposed to do?  Well, the idea hit me - what about a curly side ponytail?  Let's look at some inspiration:
Image via Style Bistro
Image via Celebrity Hairstyles
Image via Total Beauty
Or I could just have it all technically "down" but curled and to the side like this:
Image via Kook Hair
Image via Indulgy / Girl Meets Glam
What do you guys think?  Can I still wear a veil if my hair is down-ish like these?  Is there some compromise I am missing?  Am I going to be completely annoyed with my hair all day and worry about it frizzing, un-curling, getting in my way, and just generally being a pain in my side?  (That last one was rhetorical.  I know the answer.)

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Wedding Prep

Let me start by saying I must really like this community if I am showing some of the pictures posted below.  All for the love of the Hive!

Every bride wants to look their best on their wedding day, there is just no way around it.  It is the day all eyes and camera lenses will be on you.  Your hair has to look its best, your teeth should be their brightest, your skin its most flawless.  Well, easier said than done.  I live in the real world over here--a world where I can't get a trim and facial every few weeks.  A world where sometimes I am so dead tired that I can't bring myself to take off my makeup before going to sleep (in all honesty, I've gotten better about at least using a cleansing cloth like this).  A world where a bowl of ice cream and a glass of red wine sound like more fun than a plate of broccoli.

I will never be perfect--no one will be.  But I am trying my best to be the best version of me I can be, both inside and out.  I should say before we begin that I originally planned on including a weight/health section here but I have so much to say there that it will unfortunately (for me) get its own post.  Also, I plan on doing a follow-up post in a few months to see how these treatments worked for me.  The main superficial concerns I want to address before my big day are:  skin, hair, teeth, and body.

Skin

My skin hasn't ever been something I cared a lot about--until now.  Sure, I use sunscreen and oil-free makeup and I wash and moisturize twice a day.  I don't know if it is my age or my bridal status but recently my skin has been something I really want to improve.  It is the definition of combination - my forehead is always shiny but the area around my mouth and nose are always dry.  My pores are big.  You can see I just have generally OK skin:


Personal Photo

A closeup of my forehead reveals more of my concerns:

Personal Photo
You can see my pores and my skin is a bit blotchy.  I am fortunate that I do not really have any acne, although I still get the occasional pimple. 

I have been yearning for the Clarisonic Mia for what feels like an eternity.  Dropping $120 on an exfoliating brush wasn't exactly a priority for me, though.  I did quite a bit of research and discovered the Olay Pro-X Advanced Cleansing System--an inexpensive alternative to the Mia.

Image via Amazon
It is $30 at CVS but I ended up getting mine for $20 using coupons.  I've only been using it for about two weeks but I think I see a little difference.

I have also started using a new line recommended by an aesthetician--BIOELEMENTS.  She had me start with three products:

Power Peptide, a toner I use after washing but before moisturizing.  
Image via BIOELEMENTS
 Multi-Task Eye Cream, an eye cream I use in the morning and at night.
Image via BIOELEMENTS
Sleepwear, a night cream.
Image via BIOELEMENTS
The Sleepwear is supposed to even out my skin tone and it seems to be working.  Both the Sleepwear and the Power Peptide smell amazing and feel great on my skin.  I have only been using these products for a week but I can already see a small difference.

Hair

Yes, I am the typical "growing my hair out" bride, although the wedding is not necessarily the main reason I am letting it grow.  I've had different hair lengths throughout my life but lately I seem to be in the habit of always growing it out for a big cut.  The last time I had a major chop was Spring 2010 when I donated 10 inches to Locks of Love
Personal Photo
I liked having it short but I also like having long hair.  I hate spending a lot of time doing my hair and when it is short I can't throw it back as quickly.  On the other hand, my hair is naturally curly and my curls look much better when it is short--making it easy to "wash and go."

OK, back to growing it out again.  I haven't completely settled on a hairstyle but I know I will want/need long hair for whatever I do.  I also know I need to start phasing out my layers.  This is a good idea of the current state of my hair:

Personal Photo

It is getting close to the longest it has ever been but I still plan on growing it more.  Even though Mr. B hates short hair, I can tell you with complete certainty I will do a PWC and I will cut enough off for a Locks of Love donation.

I haven't really changed my products but I have started using coconut oil every now and then.  I melt a few tablespoons and distribute them through the ends of my hair.  I then wrap my hair in plastic wrap and wait 20-30 minutes before washing my hair (great time for a mani/pedi!).  I wish I had the time to do this more often because my hair is so smooth and shiny after.  I highly recommend it!  In case you're wondering, my go-to styling products are Bumble and bumble Styling Lotion and MOROCCANOIL.  I would like my hair to be a bit thicker - any product advice would be appreciated!

Teeth

My teeth have always been a little jacked.

Personal Photo
In all fairness, that was taken when I was still in an awkward teeth phase.  That gap you see stuck with me a very long time and somehow corrected itself (if only a little) as I got older.  Throughout my adult life I have been very unhappy with the way two of my teeth photograph:

Personal photo

The teeth on either side of my front teeth go in, creating a shadow in pictures.  Take a look at my bio photo - you can easily see the shadow there:

Personal Photo
I look like I am missing a tooth.  I knew I needed to do something about this or risk hating my wedding photos.  I really didn't want braces, although I think it is perfectly acceptable for adults to get them--they just weren't for me.  That left me with one choice - Invisalign.  If you don't know what Invisalign is, it is basically a combination of a retainer and braces - you can take them out when you eat but they are supposed to be in at all other times.  They mold the plastic to your teeth and you get a new set of "aligners" every two weeks, each set making a small change over the last.

Image via Invisalign Orlando
Invisalign is not for everyone, though.  My experience has not been painful or uncomfortable but all you need to do is a quick google search to find the tons of people out there who cannot deal with it.  It is also pricey but I am fortunate my insurance is paying for part while I pay for the rest in monthly installments.  You also need to brush your teeth a lot when you have Invisalign since you need to put your aligners back in to a clean mouth.  I have flossing and brushing supplies on me at all times.  Yes, it is annoying--but it made my last cleaning worry-free! 

It can be obvious on some people but I do not think it is super obvious on me.  I have only had one person ask me about it (Bridesmaid Runner!) so people either don't notice or don't care.

Personal Photo
See?  You can't really tell.  I have definitely been around people I could tell have it, though, so if you're thinking about doing it know that it could be obvious to those around you. 

I started my treatment in November 2012 and it is expected to last 66 weeks.  I know this because every set of aligners says "Set X/33" and you replace your set every two weeks.  I just started week 14, but who's counting?  I will not be done by the wedding but I have already noticed a difference so I know I will be in great shape by the time October rolls around. 

OK, that is it for now!  As I mentioned above, I plan to do a follow-up post a month or so before the wedding to see how my plans have worked (or failed).  So tell me - what did you do to prepare for the wedding?  Any other Invisalign users out there?  Any tips for inexpensive ways to make my skin amazing?

Please feel free to PM me if you would like to discuss Invisalign in-depth.  I am happy to help!

Monday, May 13, 2013

Registration Station

Let me get this out of the way - I hate receiving gifts. It makes me feel really awkward and I don't usually react well, even when it is something I genuinely love.  I am getting married, though, and getting gifts is just something about the experience I need to get over.  Hey, at least we probably won't have to open our gifts in front of our guests, aside from maybe my bridal shower.  I do not expect anyone to give us a gift - especially since everyone has to travel for our wedding - but if our friends and family decide to be extra generous, I wanted to make sure they have some direction of what we can use.

I knew I wanted one nice-ish store and one everyday store, in addition to a honeymoon registry.  The everyday store was a no-brainer - Target!  There is one in almost every town and they have great values.  The higher end store wasn't quite as easy but we eventually narrowed it down to Williams-Sonoma or Crate & Barrel.  We ended up picking C&B because we liked their options the best and they just introduced a great flat-rate shipping policy. 

We've had a list going for a while of what we wanted to register for in order to avoid picking things because they caught our eye (although that did happen!) or missing things we didn't think of.  At C&B we are registered for a lot of our basics. 

Aspen Salad Plate / Image via Crate & Barrel
Aspen Bowl / Image via Crate & Barrel
Voletta 5-Pice Placesetting / Image via Crate & Barrel
I originally intended to register for run-of-the-mill pots and pans but when I saw Mrs. Wallaby's post about her registry, all of a sudden my kitchen would feel neglected without some Le Creuset beauty.  We are currently registered for the following:

Le Creuset In 5-Piece Cookwear Set / Image via Crate & Barrel 

 (5-Piece Le Creuset® Ink Cookware Set: 1.25 qt. precision pour saucepan with lid, 5.5 qt. round french oven with lid and 10" skillet)
Le Creuset 10.5" Oblong Ink Grill Pan / Image via Crate & Barrel

Le Creuset 3.5 qt. Wide Round Ink French Oven w/ Lid / Image via Crate & Barrel
We don't have a whole lot on the Target list, the main item being:

The ultimate registry item / Kitchen Aid Artisan 5 qt. Stand Mixer / Image via Target
We also have lots of random kitchen gadgets and fancy ice cube trays (they really do make a difference!) but we don't have a ton of stuff since we already live in a fully functioning home.  We are using this experience to upgrade some items that have seen better days and acquire items I've been lusting after but haven't bought myself.  Great example - we are currently using the dishes Mr. B got for his first wedding.  I am super excited about replacing those. 

In addition to the registries above, we also plan on doing a honeymoon registry.  I know some people think this is tacky but as a guest at many weddings, I find it really fun and helpful.  I prefer buying someone an upgrade at their hotel over writing them a check for the equivalent amount.  Our honeymoon destination isn't completely settled yet (soon, hopefully!) but once it is I will get going on setting up this registry.  I know there are a lot out there - Honeyfund, Honeymoon Wishes, and HoneyLuna, just to name a few. 

So now for a lot of questions:  Am I missing anything?  What item did you register for that you think every couple needs?  Should I take any of these items away?  Any good recommendations and/or tips for a honeymoon registry?  Is Le Creuset really as amazing as it seems?

Monday, May 6, 2013

A Roaring Good Time

You guys, I have some of the best friends in the world.  In January four of my local bridesmaids (Lemon, Nole, BOC, and Danger) banded together to throw us a seriously amazing engagement party.  A speakeasy has recently opened in Tallahassee and Mr. B and I love to go when we have a free night (and can get a reservation!).  Our bridesmaids took this and ran with it.



Personal Photo
They set up a special gmail account and google phone number so people could RSVP and receive the password.
Photo by Bridesmaid Lemon
By telling you the password, I am going to reveal a very strange fact about myself.  The password was "manatee."  I am completely terrified of manatees.  Yes, I am aware of how irrational this fear is but it is something I have been battling for quite a few years now.  I think it stems from the fact that we didn't have them where I grew up and when I started doing triathlons I would practice my open water swimming in a river that is full of them.  The thought of running into one while swimming seriously strikes fear in me.  Yes, I am crazy.  Moving on...

Danger, BOC, Miss Bycicle, Lemon, Nole (Personal Photo)
 They decorated every corner of Lemon's house and it looked amazing.

Photos by Bridesmaid Lemon
They even set up a faux-to booth, complete with props and "Flapper Flair" for your hair! 

Photos by Bridesmaid Lemon
The food and drinks were amazing as well.  They had our favorites - bruschetta, dips, and cupcakes.

Photos by Bridesmaid Lemon




In addition to beer and wine, there was also a signature drink, "The Bee's Knees."

Photo by Bridesmaid Lemon

It is one thing to have a theme party where the food and drink match the style.  It takes it to a whole different level when the people get into it, too!

Bridesmaid Danger, Friends DC and RJ // Friend Christmas, Bridesmaid Nole (Photos by Bridesmaid Lemon)
Friend Delt, Mr. Bicycle, Miss Bicycle // Miss Bicycle, MOH/Sister NYC (Personal photos)
Groomsman Godfather & his wife, Mr. Bicycle, Miss Bicycle (Personal photo)
One of our friends gave us these fabulous Mr. & Mrs. glasses, complete with a mustache and lipstick kiss.  And yes, I do drink champagne out of my glass on a regular basis - wouldn't you?

Personal photos
We loved having most of the important people in our lives together for the evening.  It was a great opportunity for everyone to meet and enjoy good food and drinks.  Of course as the night came to an end we did what we always end up doing - epic dance party!

Bridesmaid Danger & Miss Bicycle (Personal photo)

I know everyone thinks they have the best bridesmaids but as you can see, mine really are the best!  I am so grateful to have such wonderful friends and I can't wait to celebrate with everyone in October. Did you have a themed engagement party?  Or an engagement party at all?

In case you are wondering, the dress I am wearing is Badgley Mischka "Sparkle in the Sky" from Rent the Runway.)