Great White

Brides wear white, right?  That's what we do?  I know wearing colors other than white has become increasingly popular, but I would like to keep this part of my journey somewhat old-school and wear as much white as possible to wedding-related events.  I own one pair of white pants and a few white tops and that's it-certainly no white dresses.  Considering I am planning on wearing a white dress for at least three occasions (bridal shower, bachelorette, rehearsal dinner), this leaves me in a bit of a bind. 

Enter: Rent the Runway.  I can spend less on a dress than I would if I bought it and then it wouldn't be staring me in the face post-wedding.  I do plan on buying a few white pieces for the honeymoon (don't worry, I will not be decked out in all white all honeymoon long) but I love the idea of renting most of my needed white dresses. 

First up and the most important/most pressing event - my bridal shower.  It is close and I've been putting off making a decision so I thought I'd put it to the Hive for some input.  Here are my current contenders:

#1: BCBGMAXAZRIA, Mazari Palm

Image via RTR

I really, really like this dress.  Is it too formal for a 2:00 shower, though?  Will the sort-of-peplum make my hips look big?

#2: Lilly Pulitzer, Touch of Sugar
 

Image via RTR

I like how this dress isn't all white.  One of the best features of RTR is that you can see how this looks on real people, which makes me think this dress wouldn't be as short on me.

#3: Lela Rose, Stamp of Approval

Image via RTR

Ahhhh, I love this dress!  The problem?  It is $225.  To rent it!  Seriously?  Next...

#4: Shoshanna, June

Image via RTR

This dress is so cute!  I think I love how it has white but isn't a "white dress."  This could be a top contender...

#5: Erin by Erin Fetherston, Wedding Cake

Image via RTR

The customer photos are all super cute - the dress has a bit more shine to it than this picture shows.  All of the reviews mention one problem, though-the straps are awkwardly long.  No one really seemed to find it to be a problem they couldn't solve themselves, but wouldn't I rather just get a dress that fits normally?

Or should I just scrap the whole "white" thing and go for yellow or a light pink?

#6: ML Monique Lhuillier, Ever After

Image via RTR

 #7: Shoshanna, Watermelon Punch

Image via RTR

#8: Shoshanna, Ikat Swirl

Image via RTR

#9: Trina Turk, Pretty Pink Applique

Image via RTR

Ahhh, too many choices and not enough time.  This is why I need your help!  Which dress do you think is best for a 2:00 Saturday bridal shower?  Should I wear white or not?  Should I just go shopping instead of risking renting something?  Help! :)

Addressing the Envelopes

Today's bridal freakout is brought to you by invitation addresses.

Via Tumblr

Seriously, people-this is way more difficult than I expected.  Way more difficult than it should be!!  Dear so-and-so, would you like to come to my wedding?  OK!  Yeah, not so easy.  What if one "so" is in the military and the other is a doctor?  And the female doctor kept her maiden name?  Martha Stewart told me that if they are married doctors with the same last name they should be addressed as "The Doctors Smith."  Seriously?  That doesn't seem right to me.  What about a former politician married to a doctor?  This is an actual scenario for me and Martha didn't really have advice. 

As with anything wedding related, there are a ton of resources out there confuse help you.  I had this Martha Stewart guide pinned for months, thinking I would just go there when the time came and it would answer all my questions.  Not only is it not comprehensive, but I don't necessarily agree with everything (see "The Doctors Smith" above).  She did provide me with information on certain cases where the wife's name should go first, which was interesting and news to me (married couples with different last names, for example).

When Martha (sort of) fails you, who can you turn to?  Google, that's who.  My quick search took me to The Knot's guide for addressing envelopes, which was slightly more helpful.  It has more scenarios than Martha Stewart but it still doesn't have everything I need, although I understand no site probably will.

I am also unsure when to use Mrs. and Ms.  What about a divorcee?  What about a widow?  I usually refer to anyone who has ever been married as "Mrs." but I am pretty confident that isn't correct.  I decided to consult the ultimate expert, Emily Post, and that may have been my best decision yet.  She gives multiple options for each scenario, which kind of makes me feel like I can do what I want (within reason). 

Now for the next challenge - making sure I have all formal names and titles correct.  Should I just outright ask guests if I am unsure?  Is that tacky? 

I plan to send my invitations out in just over a month so I am happy to be starting this sooner rather than later.  I am doing my own calligraphy, which is going to take a lot of time, so I need to get this finalized ASAP.

Am I alone in this battle?  Does anyone have any helpful tips?  Can I just send an Evite?  

A Walk to Remember

(Side note: A Walk to Remember is my guiltiest of guilty pleasure movies.  It is awful but it gets me every time.)

As I mentioned before, my father passed away a few years ago.  I think the one time I will really miss him on my wedding day is one of the most important moments - as I walk down the aisle.  As an independent woman, I would not have felt like he was "giving me away," but it would be a nice nod to tradition to have him walk me down the aisle. 

Image via Style Me Pretty / Photo by Esther Louise Photography / From Bridesmaid Lemon's wedding

I could have my brother or uncle walk me down the aisle but that doesn't make much sense since neither of them is giving me away.  It would just feel awkward.  I also contemplated having my grandmother walk me but since she isn't guaranteed to be there, I don't want to plan on that and have it not work out.  I have gone back and forth but I am pretty much settled on the fact I will be walking myself down the aisle - a nod to my independence, if you will.

Image via Flickr / Photo by Justin Lowery

I've had people ask me if this will make me feel sad or lonely and I honestly don't think it will.  I get to stand strong in front of everyone we love and then walk toward my new life-my new family. 

A few weeks ago another idea struck me, though.  What if I have Mr. B's son M walk me down the aisle?  I am looking for as many ways as possible to include Mr. B's kids in our ceremony since we are becoming an official family that day and it could be a really nice way to include M even more (he is already a groomsman). 

Image via Easy Weddings / Photo by Fotografia Coppola

I've heard of mothers having their son walk them down the aisle, but would it be weird for a future stepmother to have a future stepson walk her?  If I go this route I am thinking of making it a surprise for Mr. B on our wedding day.  I know M would be honored to do it and would love the opportunity but I don't know if it is the right thing to do.... 

So now I guess I am faced with a decision.  Do I have one last public display of independence and walk myself down the aisle?  Do I allow one of my family members to walk me just for the sake of not walking alone?  Or should I have M walk with me as a nod to our new family?

Has anyone else faced a similar situation?  What did you do?

Topping our Cake

I talked a while ago about the look of the cake we want but I have yet to talk about what will be on top of that cake.  Probably because I have no idea.   To refresh your memory, I plan on our cake looking something along the lines of -

Image via Style Me Pretty / Photo by Jill Thomas Photography

 I do not plan on having any flowers or anything else to really spruce it up, so I guess I need an interesting topper so it doesn't look too boring.  I am really at a loss for what to do, though.  I want to use something that is very much us and represents our lives and/or our wedding.  There are a lot of fleur de lis options out there, but I don't know if that really represents us the way I want it to (even though it is the official symbol of the wedding). 

Image via Customlabels4u.com

My sister sent me this suggestion and I don't think she was kidding:

Image via Etsy

As funny as that one is, I am not super excited about the idea of me looking like I am forcing Mr. B to marry me.  Also, this really only represents him and I would love for the topper to reflect both of us.

I love the idea of incorporating our pets into the wedding somehow and this could be an interesting way to do so.  As a reminder, we have a dog named Tabasco and a cat named Tchoupitoulas:

Personal photo

I know people get models of their pets made for their cake topper, I just worry that no one will be able to do our furballs justice. 

Image via Etsy

Image via Etsy

These can be quite expensive but they are also pretty cute and I think it would be a fun surprise for Mr. B.  We can also display them in our home after the wedding, which is nice. 

We could also do something a little more traditional...

Image via Etsy

Image via Etsy

Whatever I decide to do, I need to get the ball rolling ASAP.  Please help!  What direction should we go?  Has anyone done custom animal toppers?  Recommendations?  Thanks in advance!

Cake for my Groom?

A groom's cake.  It's a southern thing, I think?  Whatever it is,  I kind of feel like I need one-probably because I am frequently asked what I am doing about one.  There are only two problems with following this "tradition."  First, space.  We don't have it.  I'm concerned enough about how I will get one cake in our venue, thinking of finding room for two is really stressing me out.  Second, cake itself.  Mr. B loves cake and all desserts, don't get me wrong.  His above and beyond favorite dessert, though, is cookies. 

Image via Smitten Kitchen, the world's best food blog

Having cookies as a "groom's cake" doesn't really solve my space problem, though.  Also, will having a pile of cookies be weird?  We went to a wedding a few months ago where cookies were their favor-that could be an interesting way to do something for Mr. B while solving my favor dilemma (to be discussed later...).  I did find a Savannah cookie bakery that looks pretty amazing, Two Smart Cookies.  They do both delicious cookies (monster-peanut butter, M&M, chocolate chip, oatmeal-omg, yum) and iced cutouts:

Image via Two Smart Cookies

I feel like I need that bee cookie, yes?  Anyway, I obviously would do something more symbolic of Mr. B...  Something along the lines of the Gators or golf or triathlons.  Do people really like those frosted cookies, though?  I'm sure Mr. B would prefer the monster cookie described above.   Hmmm...

OK, back to cake.  I guess I could probably find room for one on the same table as the wedding cake if that's the route I choose to go.  I feel like it has to be a Gator cake if it is a cake at all.  Nothing too weird...

Ack!  Albert, you've looked better / Image via Sugar Chef

Maybe something more along the lines of...

Image via The Sweet Treat

Another thought I had was to have the groom's cake at the rehearsal dinner.  Is that something people do?  That would solve my space problem and would allow both cakes to have their own special night. 

Do I need a groom's cake?  If so, can I do cookies?  Can I have it at the rehearsal dinner?  Should I just give up on the whole thing?

Should We?

We have never planned on doing a first look.  We decided pretty early on that we don't want to ruin/miss that special moment when I walk down the aisle and Mr. B sees me for the first time.  Our photographer is a big fan of first looks and I absolutely see the benefits, namely more time to enjoy cocktail hour.  We told her right off the bat that it wasn't for us and she only tried to sell us a little bit before giving up and accepting our wishes. 

Image via Green Wedding Shoes / Photo by Simply Bloom Photography

Well, this past weekend's events may have put a wrinkle in our plans.  Bridesmaid BOC got married and she used Ashley Daniell Photography, just as I am.  Mr. B and I chatted with Ashley a little and she planted the first look seed again.  Mr. B and I looked at each other and blamed the fact we wouldn't want to do one on the other one before realizing that maybe we were actually OK with at least considering it.  So now I am stuck with this decision - do we or don't we?

Image via Live Love Photography

Pros:

• Timing-Our ceremony is at 5 PM and the sun is expected to set in Savannah at 6:41 that day.  This does not allow a ton of time for pictures after the ceremony before the sun sets.
• Cocktail hour-If we take the majority of our photos before the ceremony, we will be able to enjoy cocktail hour with our guests that we don't get to see very often.
• Privacy-There is a good argument for less people being around when we see each other for the first time. 

Cons:

• Reaction-I do kind of want to see Mr. B's reaction when I walk down the aisle and have that be a special moment.  I know it will be different than our first look but I just really want it to still be special.

Image via Thomas Beaman

•  Alone time-It would be nice to have some quiet time after the ceremony with just us and our bridal party.  I plan on keeping everyone entertained on the trolley with drinks and snacks.

• Timing-I don't want to feel like we have a hard deadline of when we need to be done (you know, in order to make it to that little ceremony).

I've been in weddings where it has been done but more commonly when it has not been done.  I am honestly so torn right now.  Please help!  Did you do a first look or are you planning on doing one?  Why/why not?

Missing Pieces

In a perfect world, everyone we love will be able to celebrate with us this October in Savannah.  This world isn't perfect, though, and unfortunately I think we will be missing some very important people-or at least one extremely important person.  My grandmother (Gram) is 93 years young and our wedding day is two weeks before her 94th birthday.  It feels so strange even writing that since she still lives alone and drives herself to the two most important places each week-church and the hairdresser.

Miss Bicycle and Gram Cracker, Christmas 2008

As I mentioned previously, my grandmother and I share a special bond.  I lived with her for the year following my father's death and Hurricane Katrina.  She lives in a condo that is filled with people her age, although it is not specifically senior housing.  They have frequent parties and I became a fixture, the youngest by many years.

Eventually I moved out but I only moved about twenty minutes away from Gram.  I would visit often and spend the night occasionally.  It was so nice having such a special family member close to me.  The only thing holding me back from moving to Tallahassee when I had the opportunity was Gram but she supported me completely and could not have been more proud of my promotion. 

At her condo's annual Christmas party in 2009

She is a special woman.  She is strong, confident, sweet, smart, and a million other good things.  She is hysterical, too.  Here's the thing, though-she is 93 going on 94.  Our wedding is a 5 hour drive from where she lives.  I didn't expect her to drive herself (she never goes further than a few miles on her own) but I was planning on my aunt and uncle or brother to pick her up on their drive up since they both live south of her.

Well, a few months ago my sister received an email from our aunt that hinted Gram may not be able to make the journey to Savannah.  She is nervous about being that far away and she doesn't want to be a burden, which I understand.  This news was devastating.  Mr. B was out of town and I did not react well, suggesting we should just get married at the courthouse or something.  Why would we bother with this big "charade" if Gram couldn't be there?  Mr. B talked me off the ledge but a part of me will be very sad on my wedding day if she is not there.  When I saw her at Christmas she said she was going to try her best to be there, but I need to start preparing myself for the possibility she may not be able to make it. 

So now I need to think of a way to ensure she is there in spirit if not in body.  Maybe I will ask if she can lend me a special handkerchief or piece of jewelry.  Can I do this without seeming like I am giving up on the possibility of her being there?  I would love to have something of hers as a part of my ensemble no matter the circumstances, so I hope we can figure out the right piece for me to include.

I know I am not the first person to have to deal with this reality so please share how you dealt and how you incorporated missing loved ones on your day.  

(All photos personal)