Missing Pieces

In a perfect world, everyone we love will be able to celebrate with us this October in Savannah.  This world isn't perfect, though, and unfortunately I think we will be missing some very important people-or at least one extremely important person.  My grandmother (Gram) is 93 years young and our wedding day is two weeks before her 94th birthday.  It feels so strange even writing that since she still lives alone and drives herself to the two most important places each week-church and the hairdresser.

Miss Bicycle and Gram Cracker, Christmas 2008

As I mentioned previously, my grandmother and I share a special bond.  I lived with her for the year following my father's death and Hurricane Katrina.  She lives in a condo that is filled with people her age, although it is not specifically senior housing.  They have frequent parties and I became a fixture, the youngest by many years.

Eventually I moved out but I only moved about twenty minutes away from Gram.  I would visit often and spend the night occasionally.  It was so nice having such a special family member close to me.  The only thing holding me back from moving to Tallahassee when I had the opportunity was Gram but she supported me completely and could not have been more proud of my promotion. 

At her condo's annual Christmas party in 2009

She is a special woman.  She is strong, confident, sweet, smart, and a million other good things.  She is hysterical, too.  Here's the thing, though-she is 93 going on 94.  Our wedding is a 5 hour drive from where she lives.  I didn't expect her to drive herself (she never goes further than a few miles on her own) but I was planning on my aunt and uncle or brother to pick her up on their drive up since they both live south of her.

Well, a few months ago my sister received an email from our aunt that hinted Gram may not be able to make the journey to Savannah.  She is nervous about being that far away and she doesn't want to be a burden, which I understand.  This news was devastating.  Mr. B was out of town and I did not react well, suggesting we should just get married at the courthouse or something.  Why would we bother with this big "charade" if Gram couldn't be there?  Mr. B talked me off the ledge but a part of me will be very sad on my wedding day if she is not there.  When I saw her at Christmas she said she was going to try her best to be there, but I need to start preparing myself for the possibility she may not be able to make it. 

So now I need to think of a way to ensure she is there in spirit if not in body.  Maybe I will ask if she can lend me a special handkerchief or piece of jewelry.  Can I do this without seeming like I am giving up on the possibility of her being there?  I would love to have something of hers as a part of my ensemble no matter the circumstances, so I hope we can figure out the right piece for me to include.

I know I am not the first person to have to deal with this reality so please share how you dealt and how you incorporated missing loved ones on your day.  

(All photos personal)